Howard Borden's Adventures
Monday, 11 April 2011
Recent Poetry (NaPoWriMo)
Poem
i remember when she starred in the pirates of penzance
down at the scarsdale jewish community center
his butt dimples were really sexy but he only liked
women over the age of 27
i put fabric in a frame because i didn't have a photo
to put in the frame but it looked fine
because it matched and
zagruzka nagradi premium video
if I dont get new electrical outlets and
I will sing at a tempo 3 times slower than indicated in the
original score.
there is 72 bottles of water in my closet
PREGNANCY IS NOT AN STD
but that doesnt mean i dont have it
you know that kind of brick wall that is really uneven
and some stick out and some dont
they have the same patio furniture as I do
well that my parents do but it is really deteriorated
and probably diseased and stuff but
big balls of yarn or sticks can be useful in a situation for decorating.
he was always trying to touch my tit or my ass
he finally got fired for sexual harassment but not because of me
but he made a public apology to him anyways
i dont care for theology
but I used to love jesus and god and all those guys
the roof of his mouth was smooth like the back of
one of those marble orbs i dont know if those are really smooth
but they seem like they would be smooth.
Friday
blowing up
the next justin beiber
touches on
powerful ideas
unrest and suffering
we so excited
anywhere around
a computer
anonymous ridicule
monster virus
yeah
phenom phenom
shit on
your childs dreams
she deserves a pass:
riddle wrapped.
Vodka
good vodka will say
Bitchy things to
uneducated slobs
a very little smell
can trick you
dont listen to the practical advice
which blanket did you use?
cheap orange juice
like Samuel L Jackson?
the goal of infusion
is to extract good
students.
hooch-style
at the wiener company
like crispy grannies
I LOVE IT I TRIED EVERY FLAVOR AND I LOVE IT
Limes Hamadmom Yasek
I love you.
The color of the Kinh
Tamarian Kime on,
and Eve soul.
You the same word
when he says
that lists gnatura.
Love Cocks.
A Time to ban this year, too,
in more ways than MA.
Picard et al Aisiboke Trung
Thuc Blinck Kirk,
require the appearance
of Bibarikurassha
Two of love. Amount EXIT WVU
at home. Kime Tamarian change. Can Bay Sioux Chua
Poem
Diagram diaphram
6 flats 5 flats
jam on the accordion
with ivan milenkovic
i a couple of questions
when ascending, one
can wear wedgies
in their toes
this pays .5 platinum coins
i would hope that
we can make progress
next month
nothing works anymore
coke vs pepsi
or 3 dragon scales
hey trooper
truth and wisdom
is operating the crane
i felt the crane once and
it felt really good.
Friday, 25 February 2011
My Youtube Channel
I have an active youtube channel dedicated to cello music and gymnastics. (I am a former gymnast, and a current gymnastics judge) You should subscribe! Here is a bit of my work:
(edit: this showed up with audio problems, I am repairing it)
(edit: this showed up with audio problems, I am repairing it)
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Yahoo Answers Poem
Yahoo Answers Poem
Why are there school?
Why does steam come out of my vagina?
I caught my son having sex with a guy and I think he might be gay.
I have a ping pong ball caught in my vagina.
If a hen swallows a condom filled with sperm infected with HIV AIDS and if somebody eats their meat will the person become infected with HIV AIDS?
The only people who know the code to my chastity belt are my parents.
I made jesus shaped pancakes and burnt them, am I going to hell?
Is the Vagina or whatever girls pee out of in the same place as a boys penus?
My girlfriend farted while we were kissing, should I break up with her?
My girlfriend hasn't had her period since she got pregnant do u think the baby is drinkin the blood?
How many calories are in a booger?
How do I let my son know Im better than he is?
Are freckles poisonous?
Is it true that using deodorant on your penis will stop you making sperm?
Is it weird if I enter the pool with my penis pointing down in speedo and up when I come out of pool?
Do beautiful white girls have boogers?
HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK?
I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will happen to me?
How do you spell government?
I wanted to see if my computer would take my credit card. I put it in the CD rom and it got stuck. How do I get it out?
How to I start breeding show turtles?
Why am I turned off by my GF's pussy?
Where can I buy a really big jar of peanut butter?
Is it okay to have sex while you are fishing?
I sleep naked at night and my ipod got stuck in my vagina. how do I get it out?
I get turned on by dogs. is this cool y/n?
Am I still a virgin if the guy only stuck his dick have way in?
How can I tell someone I gave them crabs and HIV?
How can I change my race?
Why don't certain things have coupons? Like tattoos or abortion?
How do I remove spider eggs from under my skin?
What do black people do on friday?
Will mixing bleach and coke make you pass out?
Can squirrels talk to the dead?
If my son is gay does that mean I am gay too?
Is it okay to think your siblings at HAWT?
What section of my resume do I put my mafia wars and farmville stats?
Is the Ipad dishwasher safe?
How do I find out if I have pregnetsy?
What are the negative effects on drinking alien urine?
Lady GaGa fire bra boob burn?
So unicorns like root beer?
Can I breastfeed my husband?
Is it normal to have hair in my butt?
Why are there school?
Why does steam come out of my vagina?
I caught my son having sex with a guy and I think he might be gay.
I have a ping pong ball caught in my vagina.
If a hen swallows a condom filled with sperm infected with HIV AIDS and if somebody eats their meat will the person become infected with HIV AIDS?
The only people who know the code to my chastity belt are my parents.
I made jesus shaped pancakes and burnt them, am I going to hell?
Is the Vagina or whatever girls pee out of in the same place as a boys penus?
My girlfriend farted while we were kissing, should I break up with her?
My girlfriend hasn't had her period since she got pregnant do u think the baby is drinkin the blood?
How many calories are in a booger?
How do I let my son know Im better than he is?
Are freckles poisonous?
Is it true that using deodorant on your penis will stop you making sperm?
Is it weird if I enter the pool with my penis pointing down in speedo and up when I come out of pool?
Do beautiful white girls have boogers?
HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK?
I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will happen to me?
How do you spell government?
I wanted to see if my computer would take my credit card. I put it in the CD rom and it got stuck. How do I get it out?
How to I start breeding show turtles?
Why am I turned off by my GF's pussy?
Where can I buy a really big jar of peanut butter?
Is it okay to have sex while you are fishing?
I sleep naked at night and my ipod got stuck in my vagina. how do I get it out?
I get turned on by dogs. is this cool y/n?
Am I still a virgin if the guy only stuck his dick have way in?
How can I tell someone I gave them crabs and HIV?
How can I change my race?
Why don't certain things have coupons? Like tattoos or abortion?
How do I remove spider eggs from under my skin?
What do black people do on friday?
Will mixing bleach and coke make you pass out?
Can squirrels talk to the dead?
If my son is gay does that mean I am gay too?
Is it okay to think your siblings at HAWT?
What section of my resume do I put my mafia wars and farmville stats?
Is the Ipad dishwasher safe?
How do I find out if I have pregnetsy?
What are the negative effects on drinking alien urine?
Lady GaGa fire bra boob burn?
So unicorns like root beer?
Can I breastfeed my husband?
Is it normal to have hair in my butt?
Some Recent Compositions
Here are some recent piano compositions.
Piano Poem Op. 1 Movements I and II.
Piano Poem for 2 Pianos (Bi-tonal)
Piano Poem Op. 1 Movements I and II.
Piano Poem for 2 Pianos (Bi-tonal)
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Some Recent Poems
Scrubbed
With a scrub brush, scrub and scrub until your edges are raw.
Have septic powder on hand to stop the bleeding.
Infected wounds must be opened and the edges scraped
DON'T GET DIRTY it will be painful and you will bleed.
I have to scrub the hell out of my face and my little armpits until they are raw.
Vigorously scrub the abrasion until no dirt remains visible in the wound except raw meat.
There is no way I could tolerate anything staying dirty.
Sometimes I use steel wool pads to clean my back
Another option to try is to slice a raw potato in half
I'm itching and itching and itching and itching and
I have red bumps all over my body and
I'm bleeding and it is all because your dirty hands touched the dirty soap bottle
THE SOAP IS SUPPOSED TO BE CLEAN
jesus
what am I supposed to do when YOU MADE THE SOAP DIRTY
People thought I was muslim because I wrapped my head up in this scarf so my hair wouldn't touch the dirty air when I went outside.
GFTO
Glee fans take oxycodone
Gubaidulina fights the orcs.
Going for the omniscient.
Giving fetishes to oranges.
Go for the obstetrician.
Great fucks take obstacles.
Good friends tattle, obviously.
Grandpa fucks toilets obliviously.
Glad for toy ocarinas
Glenn farts to oblivion
Go fantasize tactfully, Oscar.
Give formula to Obadiah
Goats fabulously tease oncologists.
Gabriel fancies tutus obsessively
Gain fair trade obsoletely
Gala faries touch oboes
Galvanoscopies feel too ouchie.
Gamblers face terrible odds.
Games fatigue the operator
Geneticists fabricate tampons oddly
Inspired by accidentally spelling the acronym GTFO (Get the fuck out) GFTO.
Backwards Cowgirl Lortab
Scorpio's favorite sex position is backwards cowgirl.
No one can restrict me. Herbal party pills buying legal highs from china
getting high at home without weed. weed sucks. weed blows.
I will sell you my lortab for two dollars a pill.
You don't even know anything. go talk about something you do know like the proper way to douche.
Congratulations. you have codone without apap. I have never heard of such a thing in my life.
sooooo... lorazepam wont make you trip? fuck tolerance.
One time I snorted a tea bag. 6/10.
With a scrub brush, scrub and scrub until your edges are raw.
Have septic powder on hand to stop the bleeding.
Infected wounds must be opened and the edges scraped
DON'T GET DIRTY it will be painful and you will bleed.
I have to scrub the hell out of my face and my little armpits until they are raw.
Vigorously scrub the abrasion until no dirt remains visible in the wound except raw meat.
There is no way I could tolerate anything staying dirty.
Sometimes I use steel wool pads to clean my back
Another option to try is to slice a raw potato in half
I'm itching and itching and itching and itching and
I have red bumps all over my body and
I'm bleeding and it is all because your dirty hands touched the dirty soap bottle
THE SOAP IS SUPPOSED TO BE CLEAN
jesus
what am I supposed to do when YOU MADE THE SOAP DIRTY
People thought I was muslim because I wrapped my head up in this scarf so my hair wouldn't touch the dirty air when I went outside.
GFTO
Glee fans take oxycodone
Gubaidulina fights the orcs.
Going for the omniscient.
Giving fetishes to oranges.
Go for the obstetrician.
Great fucks take obstacles.
Good friends tattle, obviously.
Grandpa fucks toilets obliviously.
Glad for toy ocarinas
Glenn farts to oblivion
Go fantasize tactfully, Oscar.
Give formula to Obadiah
Goats fabulously tease oncologists.
Gabriel fancies tutus obsessively
Gain fair trade obsoletely
Gala faries touch oboes
Galvanoscopies feel too ouchie.
Gamblers face terrible odds.
Games fatigue the operator
Geneticists fabricate tampons oddly
Inspired by accidentally spelling the acronym GTFO (Get the fuck out) GFTO.
Backwards Cowgirl Lortab
Scorpio's favorite sex position is backwards cowgirl.
No one can restrict me. Herbal party pills buying legal highs from china
getting high at home without weed. weed sucks. weed blows.
I will sell you my lortab for two dollars a pill.
You don't even know anything. go talk about something you do know like the proper way to douche.
Congratulations. you have codone without apap. I have never heard of such a thing in my life.
sooooo... lorazepam wont make you trip? fuck tolerance.
One time I snorted a tea bag. 6/10.
Monday, 21 February 2011
Flarf Music
My Process:
I googled certain terms, followed by "music" or
"sheet music." Google image searches always found some sort of piece
that I could use. Anyway, I compiled certain measures of my findings
together to create this composition.
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